3 massive meals today. Oatmeal with fresh raisins. Massive prime rib with horseradish for lunch. Brocolee, potatoes, pork roast for dinner. Im gonna go lift some wieghts now to build some muscle mass.
Still feeling increasingly calm. I can look people in the eye and not feel the need to look away.
Nick made an interesting comment today: "Cruising is not simply a matter of traveling in a boat, but a journey that involves change... a change of ones surroundings and oneself" (Im paraphrasing what he said quite a bit... in fact I think Im just gonna have to take credit for the saying now. But that was basically what he was getting at)

Monday: Not sure how I pulled it off, but I ran 4.64 miles. I did a little research online and learned some new stretching techniques, particularly the importance of a brief warm up jog, then streching, then the main jog, and then a cool down stretch. Felt so uch better for it: calves and shins were loose and not at all painful like they have been up till now. Yep: gotta remember to stretch. Came back to the boat and had a healthy dinner and a banana to fight the lactic acid build up.

Sunday: Fishing and just hanging out with Jason and Nick. Around midnight we decided to dive in serach of Jasons $80 boat brush. 50 degree water, pitch black... diving in 15 to 20 feet and using your hands to search the harbor bottom... all the while trying to avoid getting snared in the mooring lines or hitting your head on the hull while surfacing. It really was the stuff of commandoes, or drunken idiots, or both. Never did find the boat brush, but I did recover a $100 snorkel mask that Nick had dropped. Those things really should float.

Saturday: Alarm went off at 7:00 and I fell out of bed, rowed ashore and ran 4.0 miles. Words cant describe how good I felt. Had the boardwalk all to myself, the temperature was nice and cool, and the run felt great. Stopped by Marks when I was finished and said hello. Came back to the boat for a nice long nap.

Friday:

Long hard rain all day... very easy to talk myself out of a run. Promised myself I'd wake up at 7:00 am on Saturday morning to make up for it

I took pity on my new stove top espresso makes and brewed a healthy cup of the stuff this morning. Put down a coat of varnish on the bridge, cleaned up and then went to work. Long day spent learning ASP.NET vs. my usual classic ASP. I still have so much to learn. It really is like starting over. Yet if I am to incorporate new features such as persistent form data, dynamic charts and WYSIWYG design tools its a hurdle Im going to have to surmount.
Just got home; its 11:10 pm and no weights lifted today. Maybe before I go to bed. Maybe tomorrow morning. Work has consumed my day. $2100 to get my Land Rover running again. Hell of a day.

Rand 4 miles at the gym today! Kept the treadmill at 5.5, which is much faster than my usual pace. This was by far the most difficult run yet. Running on the treadmill really helped my sore knee. Afterwards, I donated blood as Im such an angel. They had trouble finding the vein since I was so dehydrated.

Last nights 4.25 run:

Bought a 30 lb. weight today and did 50 curls on each arm. Feeling good, although the stress at work is bringing me down. The only way I can get everything done is to go back to working 14 hour days.

4.25 miles and Im feeling strong. Worked till 9:00 pm, had no dinner and yet still managed to get out to the boat, change in to running gear, row ashore and run 4.25 miles. Graphs coming tomorrow.
Im still a nervous wreck, or at least nervous any way. I mumble my damn words when nervous and sound like an outright mental defect. I truly hope my genius isn't lost on people due to my mumbling circus boy antics. Normally Im quite charming.
Take a deep breath. Let it out. Whew.... thats better. Now slow the hell down and be somewhat less of a retard, self.

Anyway: varnish work on the bridge is coming along. First coat is down. Jason and I are doing an oil change on the Atomic Diesel, as well as replacing a few worn hoses, belts, etc. Its hard to shake that service consumer mentallity: I kinda just favor hiring someone to fix an engine. I'll feel better once I know my way around the big metal thing; until then its just another source of intimidation.

Superbowl weekend: today was spent drinking, eating and drinking. Again alcohol, and again no exercise. I even smoked a hald dozen ciggaretes at the party. I do that when drunk or nervous. Even today amongst friends I did both. I am not gonna be ready for tomorrows 4 mile run. Im gonna do it anyway though, and Im going to buy a set of weights. Maybe just a set of 30 lb. hand weights, just to get started. This alcohol thing makes me feel like hell, and Im convinced that it simple gets in the way of what I want to do. So why do I do it? Even though I dont want to? Thats what bothers me the most.

Didnt run today. I sailed a Sabot with Jason around the harbor and sipped beer. Lots of good fun, very relaxing... but entirely disappointing that I didn't go running. Monday I increase the distance to 4 miles. Maybe a days rest or two before hand is a good idea. Gives that sore knee a chance to recover. Wonderful excuse to be lazy, at any rate..
Eating healthy meals (3 a day) and taking vitamins. The lack of caffeine makes me noticeably calmer and less panicked. I miss a strong cup of espresso in the morning, but in the long run I feel much better off without it. The beer and wine drinking on the other hand really bothers me. The beer goes right to my gut, and really makes it hard to want to adhere to this regime.

Arms and abs are surprisingly sore from the 50 push ups & 50 situps. I still need to pick up a proper set of weights and maybe a book or two on how to lift them.
Picked up two bottles of wine and drank them with Jason and Kristen with a few helpings of Spider Crab stew (courtesy the very talented Kristen) Never thought Id eat a spider crab; I saw some live ones while snorkeling years ago off the Balboa Penninsula and they are the stuff of nightmares: spikes, long insect like legs and claws, black husky shell.

Amazing run around the back bay. 3.7 miles in a very scenic course. My time was shorter than that of the last run, but it was a bit of a stuggle at first. My right knee was in pretty serious pain. Feels like the kneecap is swollen from too much impact. I ran on the side of the concrete path (on the dirt) whenever possible and that seemed to really help.

Im getting more things done, as I just seem to have a greater reserve of energy. Boat projects take less time and just seem to get done on their own. I'll be ready to varnish the bridge this weekend and should be able to install the electronics shortly thereafter. (Marine VHF, 2 Meter Ham and the Garmin chartplotter)

2nd Day and Im feeling good, maybe a little less so, but good nonetheless. Head is pounding from caffeine withdrawel. Didn't realize how addictive that stuff is. I do feel a little calmer and more relaxed without it. Had a few drinks with Mark at the Club tonight, then dinner and a bottle of wine with Jason and Kristen. The alcohol has the definite potential to derail this 30 day experiment, and is something I'll have to be wary of. I started the day with 2 sets of 25 push ups and then 2 sets of 25 situps. Im surprisingly sore for such a simple bout of exercise. I've gotta pick up some weights and really pay more attention to my upper body strength. Maybe it was the cafferine withdrawel headache, but I didnt get much of anything done at the office. This in turn makes me sad, and sadness in turn makes me depressed, which of course just ruins my day. Its an endless downward spiral. Tomorrow I'll set a list of goals at the office and not leave till they have been met.

First day into the 30 day experiment. I feel great. I ran 3.6 miles. Crawled for much of it, but I finished strong, despite a painfully sore knee. Some quick observations: even one day into this, I feel like Im in charge and am actively engaged in life. Confidence is up, which has been at an all time low as of late. After I ran I showered up and had dinner with Jason and Kristen. Dollar tacos, as its taco tuesday. Then shopping at trader joes. I feel good, like Im active. (Probably because I am)